Author 2's story is in her own words and not edited by the RPSSUK in any way, if you wish to email Author 2, please mark your subject line "Author 2" and I will forward it on.

Author 2's Personal Story

I’d like you to post my story which began back in 1997, when my marriage broke up, I was assaulted by my estranged husband and desperately needed help with my 3 young children. my oldest boy-4, began expressing aggression and problems, I asked SS for help, I was put into a centre and advised to do a course called 'fun 4 families'. the problems continued, but to be honest, it was just that I found it difficult to cope as a single mum with 3 active and confused children. I was never the type of mum that would sit on the floors and play cars with the boys or dolls with my daughter, but I did give them attention and most of all love. the children began attention seeking, i.e. telling teachers, they didn’t have breakfast and were starving!! my daughter tried shutting her head in the door! my son started to run away from primary school. immediately, I started being interrogated by S.S.D. I had a very patronizing social worker, who claimed she knew my children better than I did. I was then in a new relationship,(it didn’t last too long due to the children’s activeness and my lads aggression) but then I found I was pregnant. I weighed up my options, but I couldn’t force myself to terminate, the children were happy about it, I was getting happy with it although still anxious, but with a few good friends we made it. when 'j' was 7mnths old, I decided that we could really do with an extra bedroom, so before any decisions were made by me, I discussed the options of moving with the 3 eldest, as all were in school by that time, they were 5,7,8....they were quite content with it, so the move went ahead, just 8miles from where we were living. THAT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I COULD HAVE MADE! I was more secluded in the new house, a lot of my mates didn’t drive, and my dad was busy, and my mum and I hardly spoke due to arguments. I had problems getting the kids into school and some of the children were a bit nasty to my kids. ssd became more involved, put a family support worker in to visit me and to advise-the kids didn’t like her, a new social worker was put in place-she always criticised everything I did, spoke down to me in front the kids, and a lot of the things that I told her was twisted to her advantage. time went on, by now it was xmas 2001, I met someone through the internet, we grew quite close, then met, the result was a serious relationship. the kids loved him to bits, he'd take them to play, and I really began to enjoy the kids more too. for the first time, I found the confidence to take them away to the beach etc without worrying that I couldn’t cope, even a visit to the town was easier and manageable. the problem was 't' my partner, had issues from his past, and he grew very protective over me, if a social worker spoke down to me, his anger would show and he would show 'threatening behaviour'. then on 1 occasion, there was a case of domestic violence, I know it was wrong and I’ve accepted that. it was in front of my children when he hit me and head butted me in the face. the police were involved and asked me if I wanted him back. I did, but would the kids, rather than me making the choice and putting the children through hell if they didn’t want him there, I kept quiet, and spoke to the 2 oldest in front of the policewoman, I simply said that we needed to make a decision if 't' was going to come back here to live, they immediately said yes, I explained that if they were scared of him, it was ok but they said they wanted him back. I wouldn’t of had him back if the children weren’t happy about it. ssd were told and they clamped down on us big time. they brought up things that happened in his past, challenged him knowing that it would put him on the defensive therefore provoking his anger, then they had more ammunition, it carried on and on. I became pregnant by him, and ssd still kept on. in the end my son made an allegation that 't' hit him, he later retracted it saying he'd said it as he was angry that he'd been grounded, my youngest son was pushed down the stairs and did frequently get a bruise or split lip, which I can verify, was accidental. the 2 boys were taken into care, then I was told if 't' left the house I could keep the other 2 and work towards the other 2 coming home, we did that, then 2 months later, just 2wks from my due date, we went to court and 's' & 'k' were taken. I was left totally alone as I was forced to end the relationship or risk losing the baby too. I had 'b', and doted on her, I made sure I was so careful in everything that I did with her, and I did a bloody good job!! I cooperated, I never made the other 4 feel left out at contact, I enforced the sibling bond etc, then in march this year, she was removed from me at court... no substantial reasons but apparently they had decided just 3 days after her birth that they would seek a care order and freeing order for her and 'j' to be adopted ASAP- but no one told me- in fact, I was told "we need to add 'b's' name to the at risk register-but we are not trying to take her. me and 't' were there for support to each other after the court in march gave them their freeing order, our lives are now empty, I spend all my time working. the judge even stated that we could be parents again, either together or with new partners!" I am now fighting tooth and nail to get the same rights to contact with the remaining 3 as my ex husband and his partner get, but I’m getting nowhere. something needs to be done, especially when I see things going on in my road which is abuse/neglect and ssd aren’t involved-never visit. I spoke to a sw about 1 mum, who's 13 yr olds son, smokes cigarettes and pot at school and she wont report it as 'they all do it there'. I was told by ssd that 'mum' had to report it!! where is the justice?? I know a drug addict who has had 3 kids, 1 was removed and adopted, she went on to have another and kept it, even through her and her boyfriends drug habits and violence, another family in town, the father hits the sons hard, and even locks the 10 yr old in the house when he goes out. I will not give in, I’ve thought of suicide, but, my life is all I have left, they have taken my kids, my confidence, my self esteem, my love, my trust and I’ll be damned if they take anything else from me!!

Author 2 is organising a self help group in her county of Somerset, if you are a sufferer of abusive social work or can offer your services in the area then use the Contact page and mark it "Author 2"

RPSSUK Editorial Comment: The first patently obvious thing is the ploy that social services used was to aggravate the situation here, instead of assisting and promoting the family unit, it is seen that Social Services when asked for assistance played a waiting game for Author 2 to stumble and then they pounced.

We all stumble on the wayside in our relationships, domestic violence is not a nice thing but people fight, its human nature and sometimes things get out of control, there is NO tolerance of any kind with social services and NO flexibility either. They should have at least worked with Author 2 but as usual stood there and issued threats and worse because its so much easier for social services to snatch children than actually do any therapeutic work.

Freeing orders are too easily given out in my mind, I do not think social services have prosecuted this case at all fairly and the result? Another destroyed family!

Author 2 is right about another area which many of us see as ultimately unfair, when we as parents see the other families who are obviously not up to scratch, who promote poor behaviour and upkeep of their children, where are social services?

In an example, where I used to live in rural SW England, two doors down a nefarious drug dealer and heroin addict lived, she has a social worker, she lives with a violent habitual criminal and drug addict, the children are in a terrible state and the eldest a teenager has tried to commit suicide three times at the tender age of 12. The social worker is 100% behind protecting this drug dealer, she has been there when this dealer has sold her wares, she has even made her customers cups of tea!!! She has been there when this dealer has jacked up and blood pouring down her arm from a rough injection. There is a possibility that this social worker may have become more than involved.

Criticise this dealer and the social worker will come and give YOU a hard time, she will put your name through the social services mill, I went to war with the local village school because they allowed her to assist and were ever so grateful for her "donations" from drug sales, it took three weeks to get this woman removed from the school because the headnmistress claimed she didn't have to vet her staff. This dealer had suffered at one point Hepatitis and no one wants that near their children.

To date this dealers children have NEVER been on the risk register, NEVER been formally assessed in terms of risk, NO support given to the eldest girl who is now being terribly bullied at her secondary school because mum is a well known "druggie"

Why is there a two tier delivery of service, my own and others cases prosecuted on opinions yet in this dealers case with many serious indicators of an abusive lifestyle, the social worker is incredibly defensive.

Or is it because the dealer is selling names to the police of users to protect her own lifestyle, readers of the Western Gazette last year will know exactly who I am referring to

The RPSSUK wishes Author 2 luck in getting Justice, we are 100% behind her which is more than social services has ever been